At the time of this blog’s one year anniversary (the solar return chart is above), I was leaving John McWhinnie’s office at Glen Horowitz Bookseller and rushed down Madison Avenue for a meeting with Mei Ling Israel, dropping a letter about a new project along the way (I missed the intended time of drop off, in the above chart, by about 18 minutes).
The beginning of the week delivered such illumination about the necessary grounding I have achieved to fulfill my goals. The dream was fulfilled at 2:07 AM today, November 26, when I got an e-mail informing me that I was the feature for the Huffington Post arts section,
There is a strong message of “letting go” in this Solar Return chart. Freedom. Transcendence (Neptune on the MC). A job well done.
The year looks good for business partnerships (Capricorn in the 7th house). Strategizing. Athena in Aries opposing Venus in Libra.
Is what happens once you let go. The grand trine in Air between the Moon in Gemini, Neptune in Aquarius and Venus in Libra.
Grounding the vision (Sagittarius Sun and Mars in Sixth House) through writing.
And the happy tension between the elevated Jupiter/Uranus conjunction and Mars/Mercury on the angles.
Mei Ling met me at the Gershwin Hotel and we walked a few blocks to the Indian market, discovering an Indian vegetarian restaurant along the way. Over dinner, she handed me a bag of goodies — books by and about Adi Da Samraj. She told me about her experience as his assistant.
She interpreted my dream from her Adi Da Samraj holistic perspective. In my language, the “flying object” has landed. I reminisced about my first visit to a yogi, who was also a palm reader. ”When will I have any success?” I asked. He replied: ‘When you get into your body.”
Yes, at last! We were similarly convinced that Adi Da Samraj was behind this sudden evolution in my state of perfect beingness! It seems that the push from the guru that I couldn’t accept if he was alive, is accepted in the due course of my finishing a cycle of the Ouroboros (my progressed Sun returning to my Natal Moon position) via his spirit!
Mei Ling handed me Adi Da’s last essay: “The Visual Realization of Insecurity and Truth.” This gift had special meaning because the image on the cover, The Goddess of New York, originated with her photo! The airplane over her right eye, representing the left brain.
“In order to participate in Reality Itself, “point of view” (or ego-”I”) must be transcended — and, therefore, the illusion of separate “self” and all of its effort to “know,” to control, to dissociate, to size everything down must be transcended. “
– Adi Da Samra, ”The Visceral Realization of Insecurity and Truth”
This feeling is beyond anything I have ever experienced — far beyond the opening of the crown — it is a complete feeling of integration and connectedness between heaven and earth that capped a week of illuminated dialogue with Dianne Bowen about the “falling away” (Scorpio) of this season revealing the sturdiness of the ground (Taurus) we are standing on.
This shift delivers me to a new definition for my profession, not as critic, but interpreter. The same definition I give to “shaman.”
And speaking of Shaman, I passed from the sublime to the…erotic!
In an Max Blagg was performing his new publication, Slow Dazzle, within the scarlet walls of the Gershwin Hotel….
Thus, fulfilling in one energy packed day, the promise of the Kundalni Daughter blog Solar Return, recapped here.
The Full Moon peaked at 12:27 (see above chart), just before my first complete talk on my odyssey at Silvermine Arts Center. The Neptune/Chiron conjunct the Ascendent was surely about the divine face of the feminine (Neptune in Aquarius and Uranus in Pisces still in mutual reception, but not for long, is about the divine feminine (Neptune), at long last, entering the collective consciousness (Uranus) and this chart of a lunation at the critical degree of 29 Taurus/Scorpio, reveals it being done through art. In fact, a philosophy (Mercury/Mars/MC in Sagittarius) of the spiritual feminine (Jupiter ruling the stellium conjunct Uranus in Pisces) made real (North Node/Pluto in Capricorn) through a modernist aesthetic (Saturn in Libra) of art (Venus in Libra). The inconjunct between Jupiter/Uranus and Venus just moving forward reveals a sudden transformation (Venus in 8th house) that happened to be 27 years in the making!!
So, the overriding message here was…LET GO!!
What a shock to go out to the parking lot at 2 pm and experience such a feeling of emptiness! Talk about fall away! My talk was supposed to be starting and I have never seen the Silvermine parking lot so empty! But then, I realized that I asked for it by making the time of the talk at the critical degrees of Sun at 29 degrees Scorpio and Moon at zero degrees Gemini. Which gave it a 3 degree Aries Rising so close to the zero degrees rising of my natural chart.
Talk about a clearing out! It signified an entirely new beginning for me. And the intimate group that gathered was very supportive in this leap from the intimate comfort of the grassroots of wooded Connecticut, where my art reviewing was seeded and nurtured for over a decade, into the global blogsphere of Huffington Post.
The path crystalized when the shaman Suzanne Benton commented on my talk: “You really have founded an art movement…the route is the Web.”
This brought me full circle back to Dianne Bowen’s “Web” sculptural performance piece with Heins Kim on the Lower East Side. In her symbolic language of interweaving of the feminine psyche into her interwoven structures, she was completing the dialectic underlying my spiritual journey, which was launched before the Web existed as a physical form of global communication!
Surely, this is not the trajectory I expected when I set out to write novels thirty years ago! As I said in my talk, who could have imagined the Internet before it became a reality? Who but the spiritual visionary that I commemorated through my alchemy of love?
For the observers of the Future,
the greatest event will be
the sudden appearance of a
collective humane conscience
and a human work to make.”
—Pierre Teilhard Chardin
Two interlocking triangles in the above chart. The release of telling my story and having it so well received, by a group that served as a strong container for the spirit of this extraordinary Full Moon resulted in a powerful, physical dream. I was in a house when it fell quite suddenly into an abyss. I was very calm about this descent, feeling both inside and outside of the house when it happened.
It was clearly an archetypal dream, representing something far beyond the collapse of the housing market that my brother is tracking for the New York Times. It represents the descent into spirit, the embodiment of the new feminine archetype that I have been now consciously writing about (since 1997) as long as I have been seeking (since my kundalini awakening in 1983).
This awareness of being at a crucial crossroads, entered my talk as a visual embodiment of a prophetic dream of Wolfgang Pauli, which I analyzed on my http://blackmadonna2009.wordpress.com blog, as key to defining the art of the 21st century.
In the dream I drew an oscillation process beneath the window – actually two oscillations, one beneath the other. By turning to the right from the curves, I try to see the time on the clock. But the clock is too high, so that doesn’t work. Then the dream continues. The ‘dark unknown woman’ appears. She is crying because she wants to write a book but cannot find a publisher for it. In this book there is apparently a great deal of material on time symbolism – e.g., how a period of time is constituted when certain symbols appear in it. And at the end of one page of the book, there are the following words, read aloud by the ‘voice’: ‘The definite hours have to be paid for with the definite life, the indefinite hours have to be paid for with the indefinite life.’”
So, the feeling of being inside as well as outside the house was this internal acceptance of the hieros gamos, meaning the integration of spirit into matter, inner and outer, definite and indefinite, into a oneness that truly feels extraordinarily sublime!